How would you describe the mood you are in? Is it useful? If you are feeling energetic and on top of the world your answer would be yes. If you are feeling bad or down your answer would be no. Is it useful to feel that way? We are often talking about good or bad habits. We also develop habits of thinking. What you think about expands.
We are influencing our mood by the way we talk to ourselves and by the pictures we make in our imagination. It is part of human life to experience feelings, both pleasant and unpleasant. We spend a lot of time and energy to avoid unpleasant feelings. This can turn out to add force to them as we actually focus on them.
If we find that our state (anger, fear, sadness etc.) is not what we want, how can we change it? Remember, you create your life by the choices you make and the actions you take. If you choose to change a non-supportive state, what actions can you take?
You may first ask yourself these questions:
- Is this thought helpful?
- Do I get anything useful from focusing on this old thought again?
- What would I achieve by believing this thought?
- Does it help me to be the human being I want to be?
- Does it help me to build the relationships I wish for?
To guide yourself to arrive at a stage where you control your feelings, you can test the following actions:
Acceptance: Just accept your uncomfortable feelings and thoughts. You do not have to agree with them or like them. Just make peace with them and acknowledge they are there. You then free yourself to focus on directing your energy on taking actions that will move you forward in your wanted direction. Life becomes meaningful when we accept thoughts instead of fighting them and then focus on what we want instead. You can also ask on a scale from one to ten how important is this issue?
Another tool to eliminate non-supporting thoughts is making use of brightness: When you dwell on something that puts you down imagine a picture of it on a screen. Adjust the brightness and make it brighter and brighter until it has disappeared. Keep repeating this action until it becomes almost impossible to think of it again.
Step into the desired you: Relax, imagine the fantastic you standing in front of you. Look at the way you hold yourself, the way you interact with other people, the way you speak and feel. Step into that fantastic you and become that one for the rest of the day. Tomorrow you may repeat.
Appreciate where you are and what you have: “An amazing life requires living in the moment.” Enjoy the magnificent you and take actions to fulfil your values and goals.