People are constantly asking for and looking for happiness. They might not know that they already have it? What prevents them from having it? When you seek happiness for yourself it will elude you. When you seek happiness for others you will find it yourself. All the time things are happening that we may not have wanted and you may feel troubled about. You may ask if there is a method or a tool to be able to deal with it. A great support for overcoming troubled thoughts would be to say, “I am more than what bothers me!”
This statement will keep you from allowing those troubled thoughts to run out of control in your daily life. Thoughts that are not improving your life can be observed and allowed to leave. Whatever has happened to you, your past history and your hurts are no longer here physically. Do not allow them to be in your mind destroying the present moment. Your life is like a play with several acts. Some of the characters have short roles to play, others larger, some are good guys and some are bad guys. All of them are needed so just embrace all of them and move on to the next act. I love a quote by Shirley MacLaine that I read in a Danish magazine:
“Now I see life as a wonderful play, I have written for myself. And that is why I intend to get as much fun as possible out of playing that role.”
When you are struggling with unpleasant emotions, relax and allow the emotion to be there. Be aware where the feeling is located. It might be in your throat, your stomach or your heart. Then slowly take a few deep breaths to lower the tension. Imagine that you are breathing into the emotion to loosen it up and to give it room to move. You may feel a strong urge to push away the unwanted emotion. Instead of struggling with the feeling, allow it to be there. As soon as you do so, you in a way make peace with it – remember, you don’t have to like it. When you just “let it be” you relax about it and it does no longer have power over you. Whoever did something to you is no longer controlling you.
I often hear clients say: “I wish I didn’t feel like this!” In the book “The Happiness Trap” by Russ Harris he writes about the thinking self that has a lot of ways either to directly intensify our bad feelings or else to get us to waste a huge amount of time brooding on them. So, from now on, intend to catch your mind in the act when it tries to hook you. Then simply refuse to play the game. Thank your mind for trying to waste your time, and focus instead on some useful or meaningful activity. You may find it helpful to say to yourself, “Thanks, Mind, but I am not playing today.”
You could then go over the next act of the play you have written for yourself. Remember, it takes as much time to be happy as it does to be depressed or resentful. May you enjoy the life you want by playing your favourite character.